Dear love,
It frastrate me that this is the only way l can convey my thoughts to you-not knowing if you will ever see this, but I had to give one last shot. Chances are,if you are reading this, you are here with the same reason and I can say'Mission Accomplished' I have the slightest bit of lingering hope that something will lead you to this site, your eyes to these words, and your mind back to what we used to be.
I cannot possibly put into words how it feels to have you shatter hopes and dreams and rip my heart into pieces.
It is soul crushing and heart wrenching to know that our part in each other's lives has comes to an end.
The hardest part is that I now have to envision a failure along with my hopes and dreams which have not been changed .....
The only modification is that you will no longer be a part of them.
Although it seemed at times,as if we were rock solid and nothing could divide us, we are fragile.
Every "I Love you","I'm so happy with you" "I'm in love with you" seemed to be another brick to the wall between us and the world.
Little did I know is, you are the one and reason to tear the wall down that I'd built it for you but neither that painful as if.
We had our times ,our short moment in times where we shined a while ago and I would not take anything in the world for it. For whatever reason, you saw it best for me not to be a part of your future.
I could have given you the world My love but swear I would have made you feel like the only person in it. Our times came to an end long before my love did.
I know it hurts, it tears you,
And I don't know what else to tell others than I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the sadness and frustration that paralyses you, the sadness that makes you feel like pushing forward just to go through the emotions.
I'm sorry for the pain that stings you, makes you feel like I'm right onto your open wounds and apologize for the dought that plagues you; the dought that lets you feel like love is risk that's no longer worth taking.
I'd tried to protect you. I have built a wall as high as those that rise up around castles strong firmed thick enough to keep a tempest of emotions at the bay of sea.
I oath to you that I'll be straight in my part ,I'll keep you safe but that doesn't work out. But how prepared could we have been? It just happened all in the blink of an eye, and suddenly there was indeed a new warmth to you like cookies fresh out of oven.
Piece by piece, the wall is tearing down, day by day you just grew bigger and Fuller. Then a time came you just burst through. I tried to talk to you softly and tried to be level-headed with you; you wouldn't have any of it; I was scared for your sake but you feel high confident in yourself, you stood so powerful,yet as vulnerable as ever and you found your voice I listened as the feeling goes materialized , as the words can ran through the air like you were crossing a finish line, you were steady, prepared and proud. It felt behind; you and I agreed on that, the wall was down and promises were made by everyone involved. I took one last step to keep you safe; "Promise me" you said "You won't forsake" . That was that; you were sold. You were running through the hills singing, splashing through the ocean waves, drinking in the sun and the sky and sparkling with the night stars. You were young and free, and the rubble from the broken walls looked like pebbles in distance.
I should have kept my wits about me ; should have kept you wandering astray but life happened too fast. The love was overwhelming , blinding and for the longest time you were seems happy one day/wasn't.
But you were already in an embrace; you dived into what you thought was the best place where you would be most protected, where nothing could hurts you, you didn't want to listen to me. I'm sorry you felt like you could stay there forever, I'm sorry you like it was refuge that was all yours. I'm sorry you felt like nothing could reach you out there and I guess there is something scary in feeling so safe. For while I wandered whether it was possible to live without pulse. I wasn't sure whether I was yelling that for your sake or mine. Sometimes you nod expressing like you get it or we are on the same pages. Sometimes you feel your way back to a moment in time and you turn to me this battered , beaten shadow of yourself with heavy eyes and a silent stream of trees 'leave me, forget me' you pound back to me.
The tears burn my weathering cheeks as vicious gust of winds blow. We only grow older , we only lose time. Nothing can be erased like the words on these pages. Maybe that is why I live so often in a world of fiction. I can remind myself that none of it is true except that all of it. Every words written meant something to someone. There is pain and misery and heartache in words.
Know that love is a beautiful, scary thing,but that isn't something to fear or be afraid of. There is light in darkness and if there is anything that I can promise you, it's that this too short pass. This won't last forever.
You may find yourself hurt again the future, or you may find yourself perfectly wrapped up in the arms of forever.
But you'll never know unless you try.
About the text:
This short article is written in the author's request.
The author clearly point out what is Love and it's effects. He also suggests to the reader that Love is something beautiful, scary things But it's not to fear and be afraid of. Life is too short for to live on and Love is something that feels everybody's heart, we are convey to live a life of beautiful Love abound.
About the author:
ALVIN THIUMAI. He used to write short stories, poem, article etc. Alvin Thiumai is his pen-name.
